AUTHOR'S NOTE: I WROTE THIS, SAVED IT AS A DRAFT - AND NEVER SHARED IT!!
HOW GOOFY IS THAT? I WRITE A POST ABOUT NOT-SHARING WHICH I DON'T SHARE.
WELL SHARING IT NOW.
The very first song I created for Hope Sings was a huge leap for me.
With the blind hubris of an innocent who doesn't know any better -
- - I approached a huge Latin star (Ruben Blades)
- - who graciously connected me to one of his star composers (Romulo Castro)
- - with whom I couldn't communicate (he speaks no English, I speak no Spanish)
- - but who graciously agreed to write music to my micro-finance-success-story -inspired (English) lyrics
- - over which he labored longer than I had any right to expect
- - after which his band leader arranged and recorded the demo of the song
- - which I sang in their garage studio in Panama City.
So - I cooked up the idea, concocted the collaboration, wrote the lyric, sang the demo - and then never released it. That was more than 3 years ago.
Why do we do that? Choke back what we feel is less than perfect? Care so much what others think of us?
Or is it just me who says -
It doesn't sound the way I want it to (in this case, it's too "musical theatre")
I hate my voice
It could be better
They say, Kill Your Babies, and boy, do I. I tweak and fix and edit so endlessly that I never - well, ok, rarely - finish. So many of my babies have never seen the light of day. They're sitting in files, still-born.
In this case, I also stifled the lovely work of my collaborators, composer Romulo Castro and musician/producer Luis Thomas.
So, first of all, to them, this apology: I'm sorry I never let your work be heard. It was my fear, not any failure on your part (not that they would go there - though I would).
Second of all: I'm taking a deep breath and letting all of you hear that song now. It is not perfect. But it tells a meaningful story - of a woman named Blanca from the town of Barcenas, outside of Guatemala City. She had little money to feed or educate her family, but did break delicious bread. Full of trepidation, she approached the microfinance organization FINCA for a loan - and they gave her one. And another. And another.
Blanca's story deserves to be heard, as does the beautiful work of Romulo and Luis. Listen past my voice, through a clunky or trite lyric, and with forgiveness.
Third of all: I am meditating on creating a stage show that tells women's stories of empowerment - a hybrid world music concert and theatre piece. I think Blanca would be perfect for it (as long as someone else sings it). What do you think?