Shall I start sharing from my show, Smotherhood?
BAD MOTHER
BAD MOTHER
BET YOU WISH YOU HAD ANOTHER
NOT THIS BAD MOTHER
A GOOD MOTHER
IS CONSISTENT.
SHE SETS LIMITS
AND REMEMBERS THEM
THE NEXT DAY.
A GOOD MOTHER
IS INSISTENT
EVEN WHEN HER CHILD’S
RESISTANT.
ALWAYS KNOWS THE RIGHT THING
TO SAY.
SHE IS NEVER TOO NICE, THEN TOO MEAN
SHE’S ALWAYS PERFECTLY, PLEASANTLY IN-BETWEEN
AND SHE’S NOT ME
BAD MOTHER
BAD MOTHER
I AM SUCH A SAD MOTHER
CAUSE I’M SUCH A BAD MOTHER
A GOOD MOTHER
KNOWS WHEN HER CHILD IS LYING
KNOWS WHEN HER KID
IS TRYING
CAN TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LAZY
AND DUMB
SHE WOULD NEVER LET HER CHILD TALK SASS
OR ADMIT THAT SHE SMOKED GRASS -
JUST ONCE.
Ok maybe twice.
SHE LISTENS QUIETLY.
DOESN’T PREACH, “WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE,“
DOESN’T SCREECH OR FLY INTO A RAGE
YEAH SHE’S NOT ME
BAD MOTHER
BAD MOTHER
“PLEASE DON’T BE MAD, MOTHER”
Sorry – I’M A BAD MOTHER
LIKE A BAD DOG –
BAD DOG!
STOP CHEWING UP YOUR LITTLE TOY
STOP SCREWING UP YOUR LITTLE BOY
IF I COULD I WOULD, BUT I CAN’T
(a hiccup of a heartbreak…then it kicks back in)
SO HERE’S MY RANT
BAD MOTHER
BAD MOTHER –
(MOM pulls the band back to a vamp as SHE speaks.)
What’s a bad mother to do,
When she’s a bad mother, through and through?
She could bemoan it
Or she could own it
Which is what this bad mother is gonna do –
(Band kicks in again.)
BAD MOTHER
BAD MOTHER
NOT A GLAD MOTHER
BAD MOTHER